Simply Terrible
by fuzzi fox
Summary: An attempt to write the worst Dresden fic ever written. Tanzinite is the daughter of Harry Dresden (unknown to him) and Mab, Queen of Winter. Time passes different in the Nevernever, where she grew up, letting her powers bloom into a strength never thought possible. A new everil threatens the world, and only Tanzinite Dresden can stop it.


**So a friend and I decided we wanted to try and write the worst Dresden Files fanfiction ever. I hope you all enjoy this god-awful cliché ridden nightmare as we follow our MarySue though a plot so obnoxious I want to vomit!**

 **Summary: Tanzinite Dresden, goes by Nite Doe to keep her identity hidden, is the daughter of the infamous Harry Dresden (unbeknownst to him), and Queen Mab. She was raised in the mortal world for thirteen years before being put in the Nevernever, where Mab believed that if she could survive there her true powers could bloom. Her mixed blood has left her with incredible power. But this power comes at a price, it betrays her lineage. But a new evil is coming, something worse than any the mortal realm has seen.**

 **Expanded it a bit after some constructive criticism made a few good points.**

 **Chapter 1**

I was wandering through a wooded part of the Nevernever to go to the small cabin I used to store my research materials. I never felt safe stashing them anywhere in the mortal realm. Unfortunately, there was no easy way for me to make a way, a portal between the mortal world and the Nevernever, to and from my cabin. The best I could do was to open a way in these woods, then trudge my sorry ass the rest of the way there. I am Tanzinite Dresden, though everyone simply knows me as Nite Doe. My given name isn't very subtle considering my obnoxiously bright blue hair, all the more reason to adopt a nickname. Rather unsafe for _anyone_ to know your name, especially if your last name is tagged to one of the most well-known wizards of our world. That Harry seemed to cause trouble wherever he went. My mother… well, that one is a bit more complicated.

Mab, yes _that_ Mab, Queen of the Winter Sidhe, was my mother. I am not entirely sure how she procured Harry's DNA, but like everyone else I didn't want to know the technical details of my parents conceiving me. However she accomplished the task, she did a good job keeping it a secret, for Harry had no idea he was my father. And if I had it my way, things would stay that way. Mab had shoved me into the mortal foster care system when I was born. At thirteen she figured it was about time I learn something practical and shoved me into the Nevernever. I'm still not entirely sure how I survived. Though being plopped into one of the more peaceful regions may have had something to do with it. I guess she's only _so_ much of an irreconcilable jackass.

But that brings us back to my cabin. I had stumbled upon it after wandering around as the useless ball of hormonal tears I was at thirteen. At the time it had been occupied by a particularly grumpy gremlin. I don't know if it was the Nevernever awakening something in me, or just survival instinct, but when the creature attempted to attack me I froze it solid. Like when you see bad sci-fi movies and the villain somehow gets sprayed with liquid nitrogen, freezes solid, and shatters. Well that happened. Only… a hell of a lot messier than you would think. Well, I took up roots in the cabin to try and figure out how to not die. Mab seemed to be on a similar page, because deliveries of food would appear weekly so I didn't starve to death. With nothing else to do I took to wandering around these woods. You'd be surprised what you can learn wandering around, especially when you're surrounded by these whispering trees.

That was why today I could tell by the silence something was wrong. It was never silent in these woods. The trees themselves would seem to whisper as the birds that resided in their branches shared their secrets. One had to be careful in this part of the Nevernever, there were always ears listening to you; which would mean a voice that could repeat certain things later. How do you think I managed to put together an entire book of research notes? But today there were no whispers.

"Nite," ah, so I was wrong about the no whispers. I turned to the source of the voice, and cringed at the creature that emerged from behind one of the silent trees. Were it not hunched, this mutilated composition of a bat crossed with an upright pig would be seven feet tall. Its skin was stretched too thin across a bony frame coated in a layer of foul-smelling mucus, twitching tattered wings betrayed its agitation. It was clearly famished; I was surprised it had the willpower to call my name before attempting to make me into a meal.

"You know, if you want to sneak up on someone it would benefit you to take a bath. Or at least stand downwind," I remarked, waving a hand before my nose.

"Bla bla bla," he rolled his eyes, "I thought I warned you to stay out of these woods," he answered.

"Same old threats as always Joao, how about you let me pass through and you won't have to go back to your daddy with your tail tucked between your legs," I answered, and grinned when he hissed at me. "You look thin, you trying that Atkin's diet?" Joao was a vampire of the Red Court. Quite the obnoxious one at that. We had run into each other a few times, usually territorial disputes. He seemed particularly agitated whenever I set foot, well, _anywhere_ in the Nevernever should he happen to also be passing through. Probably doesn't help that I tore his girlfriend's leg off a year ago. And I may have also dispatched one of his friends. And two relatives. And even a lover or two. Okay, so he had a lot more reason to hate me than simple territory.

"Oh shut up you cocky little shit," Joao lunged at me, and I heard the crunching of leaves from all around me. I dropped to the ground, allowing the Red Court Vampire to lunge past me, mercifully I managed not to get drooled on. Their saliva contained a powerful narcotic that could put heroin to shame. I had seen what narcotics could do first hand. I had found my foster mother overdosed on the floor when I was ten, leaving me with her asshole husband for three years before Mab shoved me in the Nevernever. Such wonderful parental figures I had. I stood, throwing my hand out towards where Joao lunged and shouted,

" _Helcë_ " It was elvish for _ice._ Hey, what can I say, I loved Lord the Rings. I'm a nerd. Shards of ice shot from my hand, and the pained yelp told me I managed to hit my target. But my celebration was short lived when I felt an impact in my back,

"You should have stayed away foolish child," I groaned and lolled my head back. I was in _no_ mood for this nonsense. I just wanted to get to my cabin, grab my book, and get out of here. But of course, one can never simply pass through any part of the Nevernever uninterrupted. One can dream though.

"Ah, Livia!" I groaned, recognizing her voice as I got back to my feet, trying to ignore the numb shock running down my legs. "I guess Joao alone wasn't responsible for that smell. Tell me, how's that leg treating you?" I smirked, gesturing to her plastic and metal leg. Remember that girlfriend I mentioned whose leg I tore off? The human-looking prosthetic clashed wildly with her hideous natural form, comically so. She had some friends with her, four it looked like. Though it smelled like twenty. Damn these things reeked. "So, is this gonna be like a bad action movie where you all come at me one at a time, or you gonna do this the smart way and actually attack all at once?" I taunted. Waiting for a reaction would have been foolish. That many vampires moving that fast I would explode like a red water balloon. Instead I shouted _Helcërindë_. My impromptu plan worked. A nova of ice burst around me, leaving me surrounded by partially frozen Vampires skewered on spears of ice. Said ice pierced their weak bellies, blood pouring out of them freezing on contact. Throwing out so much ice the air dropped twenty degrees, and suddenly my hooded sweatshirt felt woefully inadequate.

"Livia!" Joao's voice wailed, the sound other wordly as he dropped all pretense of human voice. "I'll kill you Nite! Damnit I will kill you!" He charged, and I threw out another ice spear but he moved around it. I mentally braced for an impact that never came. He blurred past me, and I turned to find him kneeling on the ground with Livia in his arms, one of my ice spears, coated in blood, jut from her lower abdomen. She was far from alright, but judging from the smaller amount of blood oozing from her she would fare better than the others. Usually these things healed quickly, I must have nicked her in just the right spot. He was repeating her name, shaking her, his hand pressed over the wound after he tore out my spear. "Livia!" Any attempt she made at a response was just a gurgled mess of inhuman sound, and I couldn't help a piteous grimace.

"You'll pay for this indiscretion," a different voice whined, and I turned to see one of the vampires was knitting itself back together. Being shorter than the rest my spear had pierced its chest rather than its belly, so it kept its precious blood supply.

"Oh, a short one! How cute!" I cooed, holding my fists before my chest. "Look how fast I destroyed your buddies, so why don't you go back home, report your pathetic loss, and-" sharp pain hit my neck and I bellowed, bringing my elbow to impact something hard behind my head. I hit Joao's lower jaw at just the wrong angle and sharp pain burned my arm, hand immediately numb, _damned funny bone!_ A series of entirely un-ladylike words burst out of my mouth and I spun on the spot, which was a very bad idea. I felt vaguely dizzy, but the pain was gone. In fact, I felt quite good. Euphoric even. Heh.. funny word… euphoric. You… four… ick. Heh. I laughed at the joke in my own head. _What… what's wrong with me?_ It only took me a few more moments for my drugged brain to realize it had been drugged. _Shit!_

"Who's pathetic now?" Joao snarled, wiping his mouth. Maybe I went a little too far this time. I hadn't necessarily decided to kill those vampires. But they were monsters, and the world would certainly not miss them. Nor would I. But this was not my first fight with Joao, and it certainly would not be the last. Judging by how dizzy I felt, and the blood on his lips, he managed to get a good drink out of me before I even knew I was bitten. Damnit their narcotic saliva worked well. I clumsily slammed both my hands on the ground, trying to ignore the desire to go running to Joao's arms because _God damn_ I felt good!

"Corin!"I mumbled. I think one of the surviving vampires tried to lunge at me, but even with their incredible speed they were no match for the near instantaneous formation of a dome of ice that enclosed me, a dull _thud_ echoing inside. My shelter would not survive a second blow. I tried to focus my will, tried to bury this euphoria and opened a way back to Boston, hardly managing to fall through out and snap it shut as Joao and the shortie collapsed my ice dome. Damnit I needed those notes, but I would have to fetch them later. I landed in alley, and it was sheer dumb luck I didn't eject myself into the mortal world where a bunch of people would see me and call the National Inquirer. Heh, wonder if batboy is still a thing. _Damnit._ I tried to stand, but my body was quivering, trapped somewhere between bliss and sleep. I staggered towards the sidewalk and fell, hearing someone screaming to call 9-1-1 before I slipped into unconsciousness.


End file.
